An end of a marriage..

After things ended with FTCP ( Fun times Cheater Pants pt 2 ) I started seeing the The Fireman… again. He had contacted me while I was dating FTCP and we had managed to maintain a friendship. He professed that he wanted me back at one point, but I kept things platonic and he knew I was in a relationship. We had been in touch after I ended things with FTCP and so the Fireman invited me away for a weekend of ATVing with his friends. I loved the idea of getting to do something fun and outdoors with him so I immediately said yes.

When we were together the feelings of lust and affection returned and we soon considered ourselves back together. Over the months we talked about loving each other and wanting to build a home together. I decided to talk to J and let him know that it was time to either sell the house or (preferably) buy me out. I was going to live with the fireman and live out the pretend life we planned together. J was on board with this idea as he and his girlfriend were quite serious by this point and I am pretty sure he wanted to move things along in their relationship.

The fireman and I started to somewhat cohabitate with me living with him on my weeks I did not have the kids. I would bring my kids to stay at his home when it was my weekend with them and sometimes through the week. It was in this time of “pretend” living together that I was able to see what living with the Fireman would really be like, and it involved a LOT of alcohol.

All the plans of things we were going to do together never materialized. He was tired or wanting to put plans off for some reason or another. And then there was the silent treatment. If I did something that annoyed him or made him mad he would go for ages not talking to me. This I could not stand.

The final straw came after some texts I found on his phone from a colleague that really bordered on flirtatious. His reaction to my asking about this relationship really came as a surprise. He yelled, he swore and then he didn’t talk to me for over 24 hours. I moved my belongings out of his home the next day and started a search for my own home.

Within two weeks I found an adorable condo in an awesome area just 1 mile from the house where J still lives. The kids can bike and walk freely between both homes and they spend a week with each parent while still being close to their friends.

I really wonder if the Fireman was brought into my life to show me that I needed change and to give me the courage to move forward. I know one thing for sure that I learned about myself from this experience…I will never live with another man again til my children are grown.

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40 something mother just trying to figure out what happiness is.

4 thoughts on “An end of a marriage..”

  1. He’s extremely passive aggressive. I would have left the first time he gave me the silent treatment. Remember, we teach people it’s ok to treat us a certain way when we allow their behavior and we continue to stay. I’ll live in my car before I allow someone to treat me that way.


    1. Oh yes he is totally passive aggressive! I didn’t realize how horrid it was until I was so close to the final move in date. To this day he still blames me for the break up and sees no fault on his part. I know there are things I could have done differently and I take responsibility for my part but he takes zero for his. I’m so glad I am free from that relationship.

      Liked by 1 person

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