Not even a month

After one week of no contact he reached out. He found it hard to not speak with me after what was 4 months of daily conversation. I was “his person that he talks to about things” he said, and so no contact was hard. I told him that as much as I missed him I still needed the space to get over him. Also, we ended up arguing about my expectations of him and his inability to meet them and this made the decision to go no contact again much easier.

After our argument and the breakdown in our bond, I began to rebel. I needed sex.  I felt he was lost to me forever and I needed to drown the pain.  At the same time I began talking to two different men from Tinder. One was very attractive, a dedicated gym-rat and had the physique to prove it. The other was a cute father of two who has been in an open marriage for over a decade.

I was bound and determined to get to know both men further, if only to help me forget My Lover. Things were about to change. 

An affair of the heart

My Lover is not the first man I have been with during my marriage, but he will likely be my last. 

During a difficult period in my life I strayed from my marriage and eventually fell in love with my affair partner. I blogged about this on a blog called “Where does love go from here”. Well, I learned it lead to heartache. Eventually the affair ended, I confessed my sins to my husband, and after I finally felt healed I deleted the blog.

Rather than end my marriage and rip apart my family,  My Husband and I decided to instead have an open marriage. Over the course of the past couple years I have had a handful of lovers while My Husband has pursued friendships with other women. It’s important to note that he considers himself to be “a-sexual”. He is very aware of My lover and permits me to spend one night a week away from home. 

My Lover’s marriage is also open. Their marriage is not for me to discuss on the Internet but his wife is aware of my existence and our relationship.

At this point I am in a place where I am tired of dating and pursuing different men and I would just like one sexually satisfying relationship where we can  spend time together but still be present for our families.

I have found all this in My lover. 

Finally my heart feels content. But, as with any relationship, when you feel those inklings of love, there are bound to be ups and downs.

So much excitment

August 2016

I’m sitting in the hotel room sipping wine as I write this and wait for him to arrive. It has been 10 days since I last saw my lover and the anticipation is killing me. I never lost contact with him during those 10 days…but by God I miss him.

It’s funny because if you asked me after our first date on June 17th whether I would pursue a relationship with him, my answer would have been between “I don’t know and I doubt it”. We have many interests in common but are still so different. Plus, he shares a couple of the characteristics that irk me about my husband. So there is that.

Strangely though, two months in, in spite of us both having spouses, I still managed to fall in love.