Although I know it’s for the best it still royally sucks.
I really liked spending time with My Lover..I loved his gentleness and the fact that he really isn’t tainted by the cruelty of the dating world. He is not jaded about women and dating and I do believe he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
It’s those parts which I will miss.
The parts of him that are burned out by an unhappy marriage, stressed out by some delusion that parenting should be easy and full of free time, and just plain miserable because he takes everything for granted….yes those parts I won’t miss at all.
But overall I will miss him.
We have decided to “take a break”. Essentially he feels that since I am the first woman he dated upon opening his marriage, he is missing out on something. Honestly I cannot blame him. His wife gave him the key to the candy store and the first piece of candy won’t let him indulge any further and wants to be the only one he tastes.
We are just in such different places in our journeys. I have dated enough to know that I am tired of it and would like one really sexually fulfilling relationship to call my own. He has only just begun and would like to explore. I don’t blame him and I can’t hold him back.
For this reason we are having no contact for one month. If at the end of the month he decides he enjoys his freedom he won’t contact me and will just wait for me to reach out as a friend to say hi. Should he desire a relationship with me then he will contact me after his month of exploration and if I am available then we will proceed from there.
As much as I don’t care to jump into dating again I am going to head right back into it. I am feeling hurt and restless and I need a distraction.
Not only am I hurt that I am not enough for My Lover I am devastated at his parting comment after we decided to take this break.
“I love you. I know it doesn’t change anything between us right now, but I just wanted you to know”
And with that we said goodbye.