Fun times Cheater Pants…

In November 2017, while still in the (sexless) open marriage, I met a fellow on POF named Al. He was super cute and super handsome. 6 feet tall, good build, looked amazingly sexy in a suit and totally adorable in casual mode.

He was so fun to date because he actually enjoyed taking me out on dates. We hit breweries, played darts, tried to teach me to golf, took various rode trips to different cities. It was because of him that I asked J to consider us being able to have the kids every other weekend. This way I could spend alternate weekends with Al visiting places and having adventures!

On one of our adventures we traveled to a city to check out some craft breweries and also visited the local casino. Of course with our relationship also being highly sexual this had to include sex in the car at an empty church parking lot. I am surely going to hell.

On another day I took the day off work to accompany him on a 3 hour drive he had to make for work to get a contract signed. It was on this trip I declared the new “road trip rule”: every time he takes us on a road trip which leaves our city, road head would be involved. Of course he loved this rule 😜

While in new cities we would always search up the best restaurant for different types of food (pizza, shawarma, Italian etc) and we would go with that cities #1 rated choice on trip advisor.

He took me to a fun city for a weekend away to celebrate St Paddies day where we hung out and drank beer with the locals, attended a parade and also took on some fine dining. Unfortunately it was this weekend that things started to unravel.

While he went to the washroom a message popped up on his phone screen. “I’m glad you’re having a good time, I’m sorry I couldn’t come”. It was from a girl…someone he had maintained was “just friend”. I asked him what she meant by being sorry she could not come…did she know it was our weekend away?? Why did she think she was invited?? He tells me she didn’t mean anything by it…and no he had not asked her to come away.

This had me thinking about his other female friendships and the status of our relationship. As I was in an open marriage I could hardly complain if he wanted to see other people. BUT it was he who had initiated the exclusivity talk and who was asking when he could be considered my “boyfriend”. I had suggested we wait til 3 months before we decided to discuss the status of our relationship and just have fun in the meantime. He agreed…but once 3 months hit we had the talk.


It’s amazing how much can change in the span of a year or so.

In 2015 J and I opened our marriage…in the fall of 2017 we told our family, friends and children of our plans for separation and decision to continue with cohabitation, and the fall or 2018 when J bought me out of our family home and I moved just 1 mile away into a condo that I couldn’t be more in love with.

Soon J’s girlfriend will be moving into the home and living with my kids 50% of the time. I, on the other hand, have no desire to share my home with any man and plan to live on my own with the kids until they are grown and all moved out!

At this point I cannot fathom letting a man move into my home. I intentionally left J with the majority of the furniture so that I could start my new beginning without dragging the old into my new life. I have bought furniture and decorated each room of my home exactly how I want it. The children each have their own rooms, which they have been able to decorate how they see fit. I do not want to have to make space for someone else’s stuff or for someone else to try to put their stamp on my home.

I also cannot imagine selling my home and dragging my kids to yet another location. I chose this location so that the kids would be able to bike between homes and walk to school from both of their homes. It truly is ideal and I feel that at this time I am living my best life…for myself and my kids.

The only challenge in my life at this point is figuring out this whole dating thing.