For me the real way to determine chemistry is through kissing.
I absolutely LOVE to kiss. I love long sessions of kissing and touching and exploring.
During my 2+ year affair my AP and I started out fast and furious. We had a lot of chemistry and passion with a lot of kissing but this always quickly led to fucking. We were not patient enough to take our time exploring each other. We went through a phase of kinky exploration and eventually returned to more vanilla activities with just slowing things down.. seeing how long we could kiss and touch for before both of us would explode. It was fun and involved SO MUCH KISSING.
My lover from last year was someone who also enjoyed kissing but often he was quick to want to get to the penetration with little exploration of each other’s bodies. Over our 8 months together we did eventually get to a point where we would experience the most passionate make out sessions. We had great sexual chemistry. It was during a kiss that we realized that we loved each other (though neither of us said the words til much later) and although we would have far to many heated verbal fights, these would be followed by the most passionate kissing.
I love the deep intense kissing that can follow an upsetting moment. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I initiated arguments in times when I wanted that adrenalin and high that occurred during the post argument make-up intimacy.
In my current world I seem to have found a man who doesn’t enjoy kissing and this is causing me to question our chemistry.
We are attracted to each other, the sex is good, but sadly it involves very little, if any, kissing. And I miss it.
I feel like the sex is sometimes just going through the motions with no real passion and Chemistry because I need his lips on mine to really feel that connection.
I have told him that this is the case, that I love kissing and his mouth on mine….sadly he has responded to this in an immature way and has made very little effort towards improving this. Perhaps he just doesn’t like kissing in general or maybe he doesn’t like kissing me in particular. I have tried to talk about this subject a few times….thinking that if he doesn’t like kissing in general then I would not take it personally and I would stop wanting this so much…but he just chooses to turn it into me being too demanding in needing affection.
I’m torn as to what to do. I enjoy his company and he has been fun to be around.
But the kissing. I clearly am not getting enough of it and I miss it. I miss that feeling of great passion. I guess I just don’t know if it’s worth giving up all the other great qualities for. I’m not sure. But God, what I wouldn’t give for one deep passionate, emotionally connecting kiss right now.